simply unfair

So much is going on I do not know where to start. So doc tells me dad's tumors are getting bigger and that he should do the embolization procedure. He is at risk of a heart attack but he really does not have a choice. I am now juggling our appts.

On my end my lab work came back that something is abnormal with my clotting so I cannot go in to surgery just yet. They also lost my labs so I had to repeat them. I may get answers by Friday. Anyway I am worried about having this procedure and I am also worried about my dad. He does not look so well he weighs now 125lbs and looks very thin. I want to to cry because I feel so much weight and heavyness on my shoulders. Tomorrow I get his pre op lab work done and speak to his doctor about the procedure. As I mentioned my sister is here with me but she does not seem too motivated to help me figure this out with dad. I know she has a thing with dad but I feel at this stage in our life it is time to let go and deal with it. She has never felt that sense of responsibility for my parents do way I do. As they are getting older I would have thought she would have changed but she has not. I am not sure why she is this way and tell you the truth it is not only unfair to me it is upsetting for me to see. I cannot change the fact that she now lives with me and I cannot run away from her. At some level I know I am disappointed with her. I just wonder why God allows so much pain in this world. I do not get it. Right now I am so confused and overwhelmed. I just want to run a way.