Trying so hard

I am trying to eat gluten free and it is not easy. I have started with what I call 80-20 which means that I eat 80 percent clean and cheat 20 percent. I have to do the biopsy and in order for the biopsy to come back posititve I have to have some gluten in my system. The problem is that I have not scheduled the biopsy and I am still eating some gluten which obviously can't be good for my body. I think it is more complicated than that but it is late and I don't have the energy to go into all the details. Anyway I feel I have been doing real good. I have almost completely cut out bread from my life and Pizza. I still don't find it easy resisting Pizza but I am getting better at it. I used to think I can't live without having a slice of Pizza a day but I am getting better at it which is so hard to believe. I never thought I would say buy steamed broccoli and chicken and actually like it. I honestly am amazed at how I am food shopping. Only good stuff goes in the shopping cart and I don't feel too deprived. I am really proud of myself. I have had to go on this journey and figure out a lot on my own. I have stayed up many nights doing research, soul searching and more research. To some it may not look like a lot but I have radically changed my life. I am now doing more exercise and it has been a challenge because of my vocal cord paralysis which makes breathing labored and very hard. But even in this department I have made a dent. I never really have been a positive person and making the decision to make an effort to see the good in life despite feeling sick has been my greatest challenge and that has changed for the better. I have some hope which I have not had in a long while and it feels so good. Better than winning any lottery. I want my health back and I will do everything in my power to be the best I can be. Cancer Can kiss My diminishing A..... LOL!!!!!

Celiac

It has been a while since I have written a post. I am not surprised for my need to write since I just realized tomorrow makes 2 years from the date when I was diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer. I can't believe I made it this far with everything that I have had to endure. I am honestly surprised that I was not put in some mental hospital. Nothing has been easy up to now. I developed stomach spasms right after surgery that would not let me sleep. Then when I got the right meds and was finally sleeping some more I developed fibromyalgia (widespread pain from literally my neck down). The fibro pain would cause severe pain and stiffness that would not let me sleep. Night after night of pain(That is why I say I am surprised that I did not end up in the hospital because I had months of sleep deprivation). The lack of sleep caused me to feel weak and disoriented. They named it fibro because they did not know what else was causing this problem. As a result they tried many meds until finally my body settled on Lyrica. Lyrica helps but makes me forgetful, tired and spacey. I would like to up the dosage because the pain is still not controlled but it means sacrificing my mind. It is not a magic pill and in the end does not take my pain completely away. In my desperation for looking for answers they also have said I tested positive for Celiac (This is a gluten intolerance). I was told this months ago but was not strong enough to deal with the changes required to deal with the Celiac issue. I was angry because I got Cancer, Daddy died of his liver Cancer(while battling my cancer and the recovery from Hell), I got fibromyalgia, and now I was being diagnosed with Celiac (that meant I could not eat anywhere and especially my favorite food Pizza). It did feel like God had it out for me or the universe was screaming to tell me something and I just was not getting it or both. Anyway I am now desperate to heal my body and I think I am strong enough to deal with the Celiac. In the end I always wanted to live more organically and eat healthier. I have no more excuses. So I started the gluten free diet about 2 and a half weeks ago and so far not as bad as I thought. However there are some interesting things that have happened and it got me to thinking I should start writing again on here so I can keep track of what is working or not working for me. I am hoping that eating better will help my body to heal. I am not looking for 100 percent anymore because I realize my body will never be the same. I believe that no matter what doctors say the little blue pill I drink every morning will not replace the gland that God put in my body to help it function properly. Someone might say well if it worked so well then why did it get Cancer and I don't think the answer is that simple. I think many factors contributed to my Cancer and the environment also had something to do with it. Anyway since the Doctors do not know I have to kind of figure this out. A couple of months ago I started to get real depressed over living like this and I just prayed that God would give me the strength to continue fighting(I felt I had lost steam). I have come to the conclusion that I will do my part to get myself better. Or at the very least try very,very hard. So with God's blessing I going to move forwar. I give myself permission to start this journey towards a healthier and happier life. I chose to be healthy :)