Need to stay calm

I want to get better and I am trying very hard to stay optimistic. Certain things have improved but this process has not been easy either. I am taking meds all day and I have been to so many doctors and have so many appts that I can't keep it straight. I get panicked during the day and have to have a lot of pep talks. Mostly I pray and ask God fro strength to face the day. I get this anger at my situation and it just comes over me. I feel like breaking every thing in sight. I know I should not feel sorry for myself but I do. I just want to feel better and not wake up ill. Well my fears are so many now. My calcium seems a little hard to control. My chest hurts a lot and I wake up with nausea and stomach ache. I know it's not psycho somatic because the pains wake me up. I fall back to sleep rubbing my stomach and pleading with God for help. The doctors tell me to take more medications. Then you read the side effects to those and you get scared. I do not like the internet for information because you read so much scary stories that it only makes me more nervous. Lord I pray I get better. I pray that my parathyroids "kick in" on their on and I pray that my stomach stops hurting. Amen