Cancer

Funny how life is one day everything appears to be "normal" and the next something has happened to change your life's path. I have to say that of late nothing seemed "right". My depression was getting worst and I did not know how to deal with it anymore. I was waking up crying and my moods were all over the place. I kept trying to pretend for everyones sake but all I wanted to do was sleep it all off.

Anyway monday I went to the doctor and she read off my labs. The basics again. I am pre diabetic, I am low in vitamic C, and I tested high for one of the metals. She told me everything else was fine. I then asked her about the hashimotos. That is a thyroid disease they said I had a couple of yrs back. Supposedly when you get the antibodies for it you have it for life but the past to labs do not show this. So I asked her how is it possible it's not there anymore? I guess my instincts keep telling to press her some more. So she says to me I will send you for a scan of your thyroid and that will confirm once and for all if you have anything wrong with your thyroid. The last thing on my mind was the "C" word. So the technician who does the scan tells me she sees some nodules and inflammation and she asks me if I am tired a lot? I said as a matter of fact yes and I am also severely depressed.

To make a long story a little faster my doc gets results, sends me for a "routine" biopsy( which by the way was so scary and painful), and today she calls me to tell me I have Cancer. Yep me. I Just turned 38 a month ago. I start to cry and she tells me she wants me to know it's the least aggressive kind. There is hope. I am numb and still crying and not quite sure how to digest this information. Maybe that is why I have been feeling anxiety and depressed so bad. My hormones are not functioning.

I keep thinking it was a fluke that I found this primary doctor on the internet, My labs came back normal but something urged her to hear my concern and prompted her to send me for this scan. I should feel like this is a blessing that we "caught" it but I will not know till monday when I see the surgeon what all this really means.

In the meantime everyone around me is freaking out. My mom by chance was here and that helped a lot. I had to wait all day to tell John the bad news when he came from work. My heart broke as I was telling him. I was hoping to sit him down and tell him news like I am pregnant. Seeing tears of joy but instead I he has to hear this. I can still remember what he told me just last month on our anniversary date. He said this was "our" year. Little did we know.