Healing how do you begin?

How do you begin to heal? The doctors just tell you what you have and how to get it out but no one prepares you for the What ifs? No one really prepares you for the changes you will experience. No one really tells you how sick you can get. I guess if the doctors did then you would not go through with the procedure. I have never felt so alone in my life. The only thing I can think of is that for every day I have felt alone in this world I have also felt loved. God has let me know that in this time of need he is with me. How can he let me know you say. I say it's as simple as someone sharing their story with me, giving me a word of encouragement, a hug from a friend, a shoulder to cry on, a couch to lay on while I feel sick, a squeeze of a hand, a wink in of the eye, and yes even my health insurance person who patiently helped me today when I did not make total sense.
I am so hypo today my mind cannot think clearly enough. It takes so much energy to talk I get very winded easily. I sound so incoherant at times. I wake up nauseaus and I sleep feeling nauseaus. Can't keep much food either. I feel traped in my own body. If I had a crystal ball and took a peak at this particular time, I do not know whether I would have the guts to go through with this.
Some people recover and I knew it would not be easy for me. However I have a hard time believing I mind or pessimism could have changed my outcome. I walk up from surgery with breathing problems, I woke up from surgery with my vocal branch cut by the doctor, I woke up from surgery with only two parathyroids. So I did not do these changes to my body. My surgeon says he would not have made anything different. His decisions to do what he did was based on me not developing cancer down the line. I just wish the doctors would have searched sooner because then maybe my vocals, lymphnodes, and breathing would have been different. and now my story would have changed. but it is what it is. So since there is no blue print or manual I guess each person writes there own. I have to have faith and strengh in the lord. He is the only person that can pull me through this one.